Episode 75: F.R.I.E.N.D.S
This week we break down the word "friend" and talk about the highs and lows of friendships during the course of our lives thus far. We'd like to thank Alicia of Cubicles & Curls (http://www.cubiclesandcurls.com/) for submitting this topic!
What defines a friend?
How has your definition of a friend evolved throughout the different stages of your life - from childhood to adolescent through adulthood thus far?
What shifts have you noticed in the types of friendships you've maintained?
Who do you prefer to be friends with -- men or women? Why?
Do you buy the narrative that "women are to ____ to befriend?"
Supporting articlee "Roxane Gay Lists 13 Rules for Female Friendships"
(4) Sometimes, your friends will date people you cannot stand. You can either be honest about your feelings or you can lie. There are good reasons for both. Sometimes you will be the person dating someone your friends cannot stand. If your man or woman is a scrub, just own it so you and your friends can talk about more interesting things. My go-to explanation is “I am dating an asshole because I’m lazy.” You are welcome to borrow it.
(5) Want nothing but the best for your friends because when your friends are happy and successful, it’s probably going to be easier for you to be happy.
(6) Tell your friends the hard truths they need to hear. They might get pissed about it, but it’s probably for their own good. Once, my best friend told me to get my love life together and demanded an action plan, and it was irritating but also useful.
6A. Don’t be totally rude about truth telling and consider how much truth is actually needed to get the job done. Finesse goes a long way.
6B. These conversations are more fun when preceded by an emphatic “GIRL.”
(10) When something is wrong and you need to talk to your friends and they ask you how you are, don’t say “Fine.” They know you’re lying and it irritates them and a lot of time is wasted with the back-and-forth of “Are you sure?” and “Yes?” and “Really?” and “I AM FINE.” Tell your lady friends the truth so you can talk it out and either sulk companionably or move on to other topics.
(7) Surround yourself with women you can get sloppy drunk with who won’t draw stupid things on your face if you pass out, and who will help you puke if you overcelebrate, and who will also tell you if you get sloppy drunk too much or behave badly when you are sloppy drunk.
(13) My mother’s favorite saying is “Qui se ressemble s’assemble.” Whenever she didn’t approve of whom I was spending time with, she’d say this ominously. It means, essentially, you are whom you surround yourself with.
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