Platonically Speaking

Platonically Speaking

Can men and women truly be just friends? This is one of many dating questions that comes around quite often. In my experience, yes men and women can be just friends. Growing up I’ve always had at least two good guy friends. My mid 20s brought mature, honest platonic friendships into my life.

I think as women who date men, we should have at least one platonic male friend because they can give us the male perspective. No matter how many times our homegirls have been through the same experience we have, their advice may not be as insightful or comparable to our guy friend when it comes to dating and trying to understand why men operate the way that they do.

For me, my guy friends also bring security. Mainly in the physical sense however over the last few years I’ve gained a lot of emotional security as well. This comes from us being transparent with one another. Most of us have grown up and developed skewed perceptions of the opposite gender that hinder and limit our understanding and empathy for one another. Being transparent in these friendships have allowed us to most importantly know that we have a lot in common. Similar fears, concerns, dreams, aspirations and are confused about the same things.

I’d like to think that I bring a lot of corny jokes, silly moments and light to these friendships. On a serious note I know that I usually offer a perspective and the female voice (of reason) that is often overlooked. We get written off and dismissed for being emotional and in my friendships I get to offer what could be going on below the surface had they actually taken the time to look or dig. I’ve been a sounding board for their career and educational aspirations as well as an accountability partner.

I was inspired to write about this after going on a bad date recently and then going on a trip with a few of my guy friends immediately after. Being around all of my friends I felt a level of security and freedom I really needed after the date. Though nothing bad happened on the date, I left feeling very uncomfortable and guarded. Being around my friends I was able to let my guard down and just be PLUS I did not have to worry about any random or strange men or men pushing up on me.. I’m going to elaborate on this on episode 99.

Platonic friendships with opposite genders are so important to our being and navigating life. I think they are also essential in helping us through our dating experiences. Not that they should be in your business or a part of your relationship from the outside. They can just help to expand your awareness and understanding. I appreciate all of my guy friends, their roles in my life and how they add to it


Questions

  1. Do you have any successful platonic friendships?

  2. If they were not successful how/ why did it end?

  3. Has your significant other ever commented about your platonic friends?

  4. What are your boundaries for your significant other having platonic friends?


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