I Feel Like Someone's Watching Me

In high school I was apart of  a few clubs, alternated between dance classes and softball practice after school, ran a youth group and more weekend dance and/or art classes. I was definitely a busy body (oh how things have barely changed) . During this time my little cousin Alana was probably 3-5. After my practices or on off days I'd always visit and hang out with her older siblings who were close in age until my mom was on her way home. I remember coming over one day and Alana asked me about the hoodie I was wearing. It said "Bayside Softball" in the same blue & orange Knicks/ Mets colors. I explained to her that I played softball and how it was the same as baseball. She paused for a moment and said "when I grow up I'm going to play softball too. Alana brought it to my attention that she was truly observing me and seeing herself reflected in my being. 

As I graduated college and acquired more knowledge about being an artist professionally and the industry I've chosen to work in I wanted more children, teens, young adults to have access to someone like them that they can look up to. I wanted them to see someone come from where they come from (or somewhere similar) and know that they are capable of achieving their dreams too. As a teenager and young adult I made sure to do my best to not put myself in comprising situations, I've kept the best company to my knowledge thus far and I've worked extremely hard to excel in just about every venture (not to imply that they were all successful). This as you can imagine made me feel the pressure of being "ideal" quite early and for a long time. I've only recently accepted myself as human (I know that sounds sci-fi or super namaste) but I'm serious! I internally reached a point where I was holding myself to Wonder Woman-esque standards.


How does on deal with the pressure in knowing that people are paying attention to you? 

Well first you have a meltdown from all the pressure (ha ha! wait.. umm...) KIDDING! You don't have to do that but I sure did. Maybe you've been there and if you have I wont make you think back to those dark days. The best thing for you to do is acknowledge that you are human. You will make mistakes, fall short, fall flat on your face or your butt whatever, in doing this you will begin to release the pressure of being "perfect".

BE REAL! Just to continue the sentiment, if you look at all of my social media throughout the last few years you will see consistency. Even with the podcast, who we are while recording together is who we are when recording with guests is who we are when we are out and socializing. I, you, we are constantly being our authentic selves then we do not have to promote or commit a facade of what we think is expected or what has been projected on to us.

I know people are watching me and taking notice. I'm also doing the same when it comes to people that inspire me. All I can do is to respect myself, my work and continue staying true to me.

Let's keep the conversation going!

Do you sometimes feel pressured to be "perfect"? Are you a role model? Who are some people that inspire you? 

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