Accept - then Act

Myleik Teele shared a quote by Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now (great read) that says

Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.

Lately there have been a few situations that have caught me off guard in my personal life. I'm without a doubt a person who more often than not initially reacts emotionally to things (hey Cancers & fellow water signs!).

It was challenging for me to not react impulsively when things had taken a turn and were ultimately out of my control. By default I was ready to be petty, passive aggressive, rude and probably a few other things I'm forgetting. I kept it together.

With my trip to the American Black Film Festival& Essence Fest (where I currently am as this post goes out) Things starting hitting the fan RIGHT as each event was about to take place. Months of planning, coordinating and money moves had shifted so drastically. To be honest, days before Essence Fest I seriously contemplated cancelling the whole trip and getting as much credit back as possible. This is when the quote came to my mind again

Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.

I meditated over this again and again. Repeating it out loud and then again in my mind. I asked myself  what would this trip look like if I had planned it to be this way instead? How would I navigate this choice?"

By shifting my reaction to act as if this is what I chose, I'm now challenging myself to take charge of the moment and not let my feelings dominate my decision making.

With that being said I'm currently at Essence Fest enjoying myself to the fullest as if I had planned the trip in this particular way.

Don't forget... Accept - then act.

#beStill

A few week's ago I was in TJ Maxx and came across a wall decoration that said "Be Still Psalm 46:10" It was timely and no coincidence that it saw it. Lately I have been feeling as if life has been moving very fast  and happening around me. I'm physically present but I haven't been feeling as if I'm fully experiencing life itself.

I'm in a very transitional point in life right now. I get into detail in our upcoming podcast. With feeling like there are so many moving pieces around me, I try very hard to be centered as often as possible and to be present. I worry. I worry a lot & often despite being a proud "carefree Black girl" worrying is definitely one of my pastimes. Some of the ways I try to be present is focusing on what I'm currently doing. How I'm currently feeling and not going too far back into the past or ahead into the future.

Over the last few years I've had a few friends that pushed themselves so much that they started having health complications. Their bodies forced them to slow down. With this, they had revelations of being too intense when it came down to pursuing their goals, working their 9-5, grad school, side hustle. They burned out and crashed. I found myself heading in the same direction. at the beginning of the year.

Now I'm in a place where I've dramatically slowed down my life (hello unemployment and single living). Though I do pace myself socially, professionally and romantically, as I am going through life at least for right now, I'm trying to steal moments of stillness so that I'm able to appreciate where I'm at instead of obsessing over how far I may or may not have come or about how far I have left to go.

Being still allows me to zoom out and see the bigger picture for what it is.

Do you practice being still? If so, how?

 

 

 

The Future of Inspiration

Inspirational and motivational speakers, books and resources has seem to become trendy in recent times. This blog is a clear example of that.

Before inspiration and motivation was limited to books, talk shows, churches, radio shows and conferences. With the internet, email and the ever evolving social media, the ways in which we can consume inspirational and motivational content has varied. There are channels and a good amount of tv shows such as Super Soul Sunday and The Book of John Gray on the OWN network and similar programming on Lifetime, WE Tv and TLC. Youtube has introduced me to MANY many motivational speakers and I'm able to go back as far as I'd like and rewatch certain talks whereas doing this in the past would have been a hassle.

Instagram, Facebook & Twitter have given people the platforms and accessibility they need to inspire their audience and to reach new people.  With podcasting growing and becoming popular in its own rights, many motivational speakers have used the audio from their talks for podcasts. Outside of motivational speakers, you can find a various amount of podcasts that can be inspiring to you based of your interests. I follow a lot of entrepreneur shows as well as art related ones when I'm in need of a break from my usual social and comedy podcasts.

When I think of what "inspiration" and motivation will look like in the future I imagine things will be even more instant. Everyone will probably become sort of expert and host workshops, webinars and probably paid live-stream type of events.

What do you think inspiration will be  like in 10years?

I Want To Be Accepted

I was watching “Iyanla Fix My Life” last month. This particular episode was about five men and their strained relationships with each other, their sister, their father and their mother. One young man said to Iyanla “I just want to be accepted.” You could see it in his eyes that it was his inner child, who never got to experience a close knit family and did not have parents that were present, the child that was “different” and trying to understand why, was speaking in this moment. His inner child was still broken and searching for answers but most importantly searching to feel a part of the family that he should have had.

“I just want to be accepted.” I thought of the many times I’ve presented an altered version of myself that I thought would allow me to fit in. I used to do this a lot when it came to dating. I believed I was too nerdy, too smart, too opinionated, and overall too weird. I started to convince myself that if I were to show the complete me, guys would not remain interested in me. In hindsight I’m thankful for my guy friends that ended up expressing an interest in me because I was completely myself throughout our friendships and that didn’t make them run for the hills.

“I just want to be accepted.” I remember when I graduated college and began questioning if I had to straighten my hair for job interviews. If I did this, would wearing my hair once I got the job change things? Despite working in a creative industry where people would wear pink, purple hair, have the sides shaved, would a kinky curly fro like mine be “too much”? Would it make me too different?

 "I just want to be accepted." I don't have these thoughts anymore. Mainly because I've matured, I'm around different people, times have changed enough that these thoughts and feelings are not warranted. I'm my most self more often than not lately. A mild version of, take me as I am or leave me where I'm at. I was never the type to specifically seek validation from people or society, it was all mental for me. I mention this because as a society trying to survive and thrive in a social media, oversharing, instant gratification, "Do It For The Gram" way of living, it is too easy to find yourself trying to be "accepted" into varies parts of this "insta" life we live.

We've all seen people project a version of themselves to fit in and be accepted in spaces and I'm sure we can all think of times we have done this as well. The problem with this is that the facade wears down on you. It gets heavier the longer you have to uphold it. You become unhappy. You're out of sync with true self.

Below is a snippet from Raven Ishak's (Twitter) (Website) "12 Ways To Stop seeking Approval of Others & Feel Super Confident" via Bustle.

13 Ways To Stop Seeking The Approval Of Others & Feel Super Confident

  1. Become Aware Of Your Actions
  2. Develop A Greater Sense Of Self-Worth
  3. Learn To Accept Yourself For Who You Are
  4. Check The Accuracy Of Your Beliefs
  5. Practice Self-Love
  6. Try To Understand Why You're Seeking Approval
  7. Journal Your Thoughts
  8. Trust Yourself
  9. Try To Think Like A Millennial
  10. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
  11. Continue To Practice
  12. Take A Break From Social Media
  13. Become Attuned With Your Inner Voice

Oprah's Top 10 Rules for Success

This month I wanted to share this video by Evan Carmichael about Oprah Winfrey's Top 10 Rules For Success.

Usually at this time of year, more than enough of us would have fallen off our New Year Resolutions or we do not look at our vision boards often enough for them to serve as reminder. We've slowly started falling back into our regular routines. With this video I hope you can remember that even if you fall off or go astray you can always go back and start over or continue from where you left off.

Oprah's Top 10 Rules for Success

  • Understand the next right move
    • The way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself "what is the next right move?"
    • (Do not get) overwhelmed by this because you know that your life is bigger than this moment.
  • Seize your opportunity
    • Luck is the preparation meeting the moment of opportunity
    • everything that has happened t in your life is preparing you for what is to come
  • Everyone makes mistakes
    • You don't have to hold yourself hostage to who you used to be or anything you ever used to do
  • Work on yourself
    • Your real work is to figure out where your power base is
  • Run the race as hard as you can
    • The way you step up your game is to not worry about the other guy in any situation cause you can't control the other guy
  • #Believe
    • Always believed there was something bigger for herself
  • We are all seeking the same thing
    • Everyone wants to fulfill the highest truest expression of yourself as a human being
  • Find your purpose
    • The moment you can figure out what it is that you are supposed to be doing, the sooner you are able to get about the business of doing that
  • Stay grounded
    • Although I could have more shoes, my feet stayed on the ground
  • Relax, it's going to be ok