I'm not sure if I'm a type A or B personality or if there are even more letters to it than those. I'm not sure if it is a "cancer" thing, an INFJ or some other kind of personality identifying thing. I'm a planner. A lot of my friends are also planners and my mother is a "just in case something happens you should be prepared" kind of woman. This is a double sided sword of a trait to have. In our recent episodes with Candace of Little Miss Entertainment podcast I shared the contrast of my college expectation to its reality as well as my expectations for post college life and how it actually turned out. Even in my last Mo•tivation post I shared how my expectations for the healing retreat differed from what I experienced.
My mom has raised me to be PROACTIVE instead of REACTIVE. One of the slogans for being a girl scout is to "Be Prepared". When it comes to writing Mo•tivation I always draft and outline and finesse the structure. I usually have 3, 6, 9 month goals as well as 1yrs, 3yr and 5 yr goals. I sound a little excessive right? Maybe? I like to have a general idea of where I'm going and I like to feel reassured that I have what I need to take me there or that I'm on track to acquire it along the way.
Most recently, I've been planning a trip since Nov 2016. I was working with a travel agent, and every few weeks sending out information to everyone I invited. This week I bought the plane tickets only to cancel them within the 24hr grace period. I concluded the trip had fallen apart. There are family things going on and to force this trip knowing some members would not be able to make it thus not being the trip I planned, I had to give it up. I had to accept that there were a lot of moving pieces that were not in my control. If I wanted to have the experience I wanted it was going to have to be at another time. I was sad and disappointed however I took the L.
Depending on how off track things end up going, I usually have some kind of meltdown or I shutdown and withdraw from communication for a bit. In these moments I try to breathe and remind myself that is in't the end of the world. This is not something easy to do but it helps me to at least focus my thoughts when I feel like I have too many swarming around. I went to my homegirl Google for some times to share with you on how to deal when things do not go as planned.
Here are a few reminderss from 18 Reminders You Need When Things Don’t Go Your Way
Flexibility in life is crucial. Sometimes the best moments happen unplanned and the greatest regrets happen by not reaching exactly what was planned.
Unexpected events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Emotional resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is. Thus, the only real problems in your life are your mind’s resistance to life as it unfolds.
Wonderful gifts are rarely wrapped the way we expect.
Life will inevitably surprise you again… in some unimaginable way. So at the very least, don’t assume that you’re stuck with the way things are right now. You aren’t. Life changes every single moment, and so can you.
And here are some things to do to keep you going from When Things Don’t Go As Planned: Transform Disappointment into Action
- Explore your original expectations surrounding the goal.
- was this expectation realistic? Was it well thought out? What was motivating the desired outcome to begin with? Did we do the steps that one might reasonably expect to do to experience this desired outcome?
Make a decision.
continue on the same path despite outcome? change the path to get to desired outcome? change the outcome?
Install some new expectations.
ake sure we toss out the old expectations and replace them with new, updated, and perhaps more informed (or more realistic) versions.
- How do you handle when things don't go as planned?
- What's one thing you used to do that you've stopped doing?
- What is one thing that you picked up that has been effective for you?