You can have it all...

 

I remember hearing Oprah say a few years ago (probably on one of her Super Soul Sunday episodes ) "You can have it all, just not all at once" and with starting a new THIRD season I felt it appropriate to share for this new part of WeComeFromQueens.

I'm well aware that I put a good amount of pressure on myself to be "successful". The daughter of an immigrant single mother and the first one to graduate from college, I feel that I must continue to go farther than my parents have gone.

However, what does it mean to be "successful"? To "have it all"? We can go on Instagram and Facebook and see more than enough people our age looking like they in fact "have it all". They have great jobs (or pretty decent ones at least), others have budding families, are traveling the world, having their artwork, literary work or films showcased on various platforms. They are moving out, moving up and moving on.

Comparing our realities to carefully curated social media profiles, "reality" tv shows, interviews and more, is our downfall. It seems as if many people in their 20s have achieved much more than we have. They have the same hours but how are they able to do it while we're struggling? What are we doing wrong" We should be able to have what they have, right?

Question. How can we remain motivated when we don't feel like we have it all?

First, understand AND work on accepting that we probably won't be able to have it all at once (I think we'd go crazy if we did) AND if by the grace of God (or the universe, whatever floats your spiritual boat) you are able to, you'll probably be exchanging it for more than you intended. I think it is in these moments we experience tunnel vision and are unable to see what we have obtained thus far and how we've outgrown people and spaces and what we've traded in for what we've acquired along the way.

Second, keep on keeping on! Sometimes or maybe most times it's difficult to stay motivated because we get caught up thinking how far we are from the next thing. It'll help to remember that some of our previous accomplishments took a while (and a lot of work).

Third, be thankful that there's still more that you want for yourself. That you're fortunate to have the opportunity AND ability to strive for everything your heart desires.

The way this life thing seems to work, as soon as you get one thing, reach a goal or hit a milestone you almost instantly forget about it and become consumed by the fact that you don't have or should hurry and get to the next thing on your list.

We will have it all! (Well, we'll have most of it... eventually. Ha!) Seriously, I trust and believe that we will have everything we want (but most importantly need) as long as we remain faithful, resilient and authentic to ourselves.

Tell me how you keep yourself motivated when comparing your success to others and even some challenges that you face?