While on Instagram a few weeks ago while preparing for our "I Just Wanna Be Successful" episode, I stumbled upon a clip of Oprah's Lifeclass episode "Why You Should Put Yourself First" featuring Iyanla Vanzant. I then looked it up and watched the 3 minute clip where Iyanla explains the importance of taking care of yourself as well as the biblical quote "my cup runneth over." Between our episode and this clip I felt that this would be a good thing to share in Mo•tivation.
"It's not selfish to put yourself first, it's SELF-FULL"
That quote stood out to me because partially being a woman and also a relative people pleaser I often find that I put myself last. Sometimes I imagine that I'll becoming off selfish and the other party will be offended if I do not put them first. This has been an area in my life that with time I've gotten better at, however I still feel that I have a way to go.
"You want to come with your cup full. My cup runneth over, what comes out of the cup is for you. What's in the cup is for me but I gotta keep my cup full."
After hearing this I reflected and came to the conclusion ( which I also talked about in our recent episode) that my cup is not full. It does not runneth over. Cadacia asked me why and it is because I've allowed many things to take priority over my own being, thus neglecting personal ventures etc to ensure that others are "happy". I've been giving and giving and compensating for many things to the point that I was not aware of the fact that my cup barely had anything left to give myself much less other people.
"When you give to other to the degree that you sacrifice yourself, you make the other person a thief because they were stealing from your needs and they do not even know it."
Now this line made me feel bad. However, I do agree with the sentiment. Just think about it. When you are constantly giving and giving to people or circumstances and lets say they do not reciprocate the gestures you begin to resent yourself, the individual or the the situation for taking and taking and taking from you and quite possibly leaving you with nothing left to give.
How does one keep their cup full so it can runneth over?
- By ensuring that you have designated "me" time. I can be a few minutes of meditating during your day, working out, reading, talking a walk, listenig to a song that keeps you in a good mood.
- Practice saying "no". Saying no to things that you know drain you (maybe its a party, a commision, an extra shift whatever) is saying YES TO YOU! This was probably another thing I learned frm Iyanla. Hear it phrased this way was reassuring. Though I do want to say yest to others, I have to make sure I says yes to me as often as possible.
- Take an interlude.